A wise man once told me, "Don't touch that." He was referring to my penis, and I was furious and outraged with the containment I had to endure. I was 8 years old, a budding male soon to experience something outlandish to my normal daily routine. Did you just say poutine? Anyways. I was helping my momma in the kitchen and we were preparing ourselves for a busy get together. Family coming over and the sort. I was ecstatic, except for my cheeks, which were about to face the dreaded pinch and grab. My mother however, maintained her cool and just kept handling food like it was her bitch.
