My life, heart and brains. An immersion of what is Jean Paul Mallah.

I constantly repeat the phrase, " I am an asshole." This might be true, but I can list a whole lot of problems with myself. It wouldn't take up more than a sentence though. I mean, I'm a bit of these things - I'm shallow, a hypocrite, I'm pessimistic, usually angry and sad, I judge others unfairly and ruthlessly, I lie, I cheat when prompted, I accuse others of problems I do myself, I see the glass half empty, I'm lazy, I'm disturbingly blunt, I'm vain, I swear profusely, I'm racist, I pick fights that never should have started, I argue, I'm stubborn, I yell when I could easily talk, I'm annoying, I have an average penis, I drink, I smoke occasionally, I do drugs on a holiday basis, I've committed crimes, I have skeletons in my closet and backyard, I've broken hearts, I'm shameful, I'm shy, I'm aggressive, I've ruined a somewhat good relationship, I've burned bridges because of my thick head, I've turned my back on others, I've severed ties, I've stolen from friends and family, I've pitied others when I should pity myself for being weak when I boast my glee, I smile when I should be crying and I've kept secrets for far too long. Not that bad eh? I really am an asshole. I know this, not to be proud of it, but to remind myself that I am not perfect. I'm human. But really, how much until human becomes inhuman? I should be behind bars, thinking over my life. I'm probably just being harsh on myself, but this is me, or really, half.

Fork me in the ass, I'm forking tired. Wouldn't mind a quick fork though, maybe in your forking house beside your forking table. Forking. Fork.

New job. Wicked. My brain is moving at speeds unknown, which is most likely slow because I feel like I can't think anymore for the rest of my life. I've worked long hours before, sometimes 100+ in a week, so this isn't new to me. It doesn't usually bug me, unless the people I work for are jackasses. Luckily that hasn't been the case for a long time, so I'm grateful for that. My new bosses are just the tits. Both brothers, both young and both willing to joke around. But you know me, I take things to the next level, I annoy. Shouldn't really be proud of that, but heck, we're all still getting to know each other, I promise I'll grow on them. If not, I'll probably be crucified or worse - shunned. Like Jesus with everyone in Jerusalem. He didn't give two shits about being nailed, but when it came to attention, he soaked it all up. Imagine if no one listened to him and he just got executed. Oh wait. Anyways, life's looking a bit better nowadays, nowhere near as crummy as the past couple of months, and my hair is getting there. Unfortunately I seem to lack hair in some areas on my face, which is stalling my Amish beard. Dammit.