Prologue - Complete!

Well, it's been long and arduous. All this writing about myself for you jerks to probably just glance at and forget. I'm still glad I put it all out there, showing what I went through with all of you. I've been through hell, and sure, not everything was explained in pure detail because there are some things I wish to be kept to myself. Not that I have anything against you meat sacks, but because there are experiences in life that you cherish and loathe, and those are yours to live. You should understand, unless you're fucking retarded. Which is probably true. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for reading or even following me up to this point, I know it's been long and I haven't been the one to shorten my essay-length posts but still, it all had heart. Everything I said here has meaning and I hope it helps you in any way possible. If you become a serial killer, just promise me one thing. Don't touch my hair. There's many more things for me to experience in life, and a million ways to do so. I don't know what's set out for me or what I will find, but I'm going to press forward with an open mind and an empty stomach.

Torn Asunder - Breathing Life into an Empty Shell

That last post, eh? What a doozy, made me almost shed a tear for the past me, and I'll be honest everything I have written so far has been straight from the heart. All of this at the time I wanted to die with me but I began to realize that it would be very selfish of me to retain what little knowledge I have. I mean, I'm not saying I'm a higher being or whatever, but I have experienced things that some of you may not have, or did. I just want to show you all how it is through my eyes and how choices, no matter how little, can affect the entirety of your life. Sometimes we make bad decisions and follow through with them only to face failure, but it is when you accept failure that you actually begin to follow the path to success. Everyone goes through ruts, a time and phase where everything around you comes to a stop. Where your life is in question and nothing makes sense anymore. There are those who will help you and those who will gradually bring you down, without remorse. Only when you accept your rut, and then begin to think of ways to get out, will you find happiness. Whether it be a loss of a loved one, breakup, got fired, bullied or whatever. Fear even. It's all the same when it comes to depression, life just sucks. Letting depression get the best of you, like it did me, is not the best choice. I've been to places that men only have nightmares of. I've seen things that would instill fear in the bravest of people. That is all part of life, and I chose all these paths. I do not regret a single thing however, because it is when I accepted all this that I began to see my true purpose in life.

Torn Asunder - The Birth of Tragedy.

Holy what an emo title eh? Usually I would start with a paragraph that has nothing to do with my story, but since this is a very special topic for me, I would like to add a certain gravity to the subject. Make it feel more so than usual. I'm talking about my jump into depression. Probably the scariest trip I've ever taken and it was a long one. I've looked back from time to time seeing where I've gone wrong in my travels, trying to answer every question I could possibly muster. I just can't. Not that I won't, but some answers are just best left riddles because that way I know that there is more to my life than open doorways. There is always pain and suffering in our lifetimes, whether we like it or not. It can be as inviting as a warm summer breeze, gently caressing your lips as it drains your life. It dwells in us, and lives off us. Everything you love means nothing when it hits, but that is all in fair game. You are the only one who can surpass all of the trials and tribulations that tragedy throws at you. When you finally achieve your escape, you will grasp appreciation. If not, you will experience hell as we know it.

Responsibility - You don't have it.

People piss me off. Seriously they really do. Sometimes I get so angry looking how people deal with their everyday problems, or trivial things in general and it ticks me right off. When I was a budding male, I was given a job at 13. I worked my ass off and hauled in the cash just so I could support my parents. I've gotten jobs for friends that don't even talk to me anymore. I've done favors for people just so I could have a clear conscience. And all of their responsibilities, have fallen on my shoulders. I'm no martyr, or saint. I'm nothing special in terms of legendary people ( yet). All I know is that I've done a fair share of work in my life and I'm only 23. I know many of you have worked their asses off and gotten to where they are now because of so, but there are people who abuse people like me to get everything. I've always been the guy to pay for things going out. Whether it be friends or a ball smoker girlfriend. That's just how I am and I don't think I'll change simply because it makes me happy. I don't give two shits about the value of money. I understand that I need it and I make it to spend on things I need or want. Other than that, whatever people may think, I could care less about it. I save my money and spent it however I please. Whenever I get the chance to support my family I will. I'm 23, still living with my parents and sister and I still help them whenever the chance. I've dated women who tried pulling me away from that because they want me to focus on my future. Bitch, I know my future, and don't tell me otherwise. I know what I want in life and to obtain it, I will have to suffer. That doesn't mean I'm going all selfish and cold. I put my family and friends close to me and their responsibilities are my own. Why else would I be called a friend?

♪ I want to do you in the butt. I want to do you in the butt. I like to hear you say what. I want to do you in the butt. ♪ That's the female ass folks.

I can't help it. I love butts. I'm an ass man. It drives me buck wild when I see the perfect derriere. I'm not a pig or animal, I just appreciate the physical awesomeness that our lord of the dance gave us. I think one of my coolest butt-related experiences was when I was out with a bunch of friends and we went to a nice little club, filled with hoochie mamas round and round. I hate clubs, but I was drunk before getting in so I didn't mind that much. As we jerked through the bunch of pansy ass 'bros' we split up and just went and did our own thing. I came across this tiny polish chick, with her annoying shit brown friend. As I tried to dance with her, pulling as many courteous moves as I could being drunk, her shit stain friend kept pestering her to dance with jumbo dick chin across from me. Seeing as I'm not the most attractive man alive, and he had a forehead of steel, she decided to dance with him. Before going however, she took my hand and let me grab her ass. She said, " You wish you could get this." She proceeded to go to the guy, and suddenly died of herpes as she touched him. The entire place blew up after we left and the entire area was infected with a deadly virus killing millions of polish people. I got my ass fill, she's getting raped by pineapples. Take that bitch.

Smegma - Usually known as dick cheese, butt cream, or the Rachel Ray.

So to continue from my last Holy Scripture, I was talking about that night with your girlfriend. Wait. No. Don't beat her I was kidding. Actually no, she's a whore. Really though, this is about my leap into culinary, and it updates as much as I mas......master my arts. I have a long road ahead of me, and I'm sure it's filled with trials and tribulations that only I can overcome. Almost like Link, when he has to get all that shit to save Zelda, only to appear in another game to save her bitch ass once more. Women, pfft. So sit back, lie down, bend over do whatever it is you do to read this and enjoy. If it helps your sex life, please send videos to chef_mallah@hotmail.com....for critique......yeah.

I always wanted to have sex with more than one woman at a time. If you think otherwise, you're a dirty liar and you know it.

So I quit my job. Finally. Good freaking riddance. They lost an important staff member over something extremely trivial, and are paying for it now. Oh well. Kinda funny how things played out this week. My last day was awesome. The coolest people just started coming and one of the owners was drunk off his ass and tipped each of us 50 bucks. If that wasn't enough, I got my Halo Reach Legendary Edition yesterday, which was 5 days sooner than expected with no additional cost. On top of that, one of the customers just came in the other day and told a co-worker than I can give my resume at his spot. Also, several others are willing to give me jobs. It feels nice to be wanted, really does.