Baby, you can sing....but that's about it.
I know it's been a damn long time since I've last posted up a new entry. I actually wanted to record my healing process, but I got lazy just like every black m---I mean person out there. I healed up damn fine, if I say so myself. Going to start doing my cardio, and look for work. February is the month of redemption for little ol' JP. I'm going to make a damn effort to get myself out of debt and actually enjoy this year. Stress free. And hopefully STD free too. I've done a lot of thinking this past month, especially about myself. I want so much out of life and out of my career, but at the same time I don't want to put any time into it. Call me a bastard or lazy but it has nothing to do with the time I had off of work and the post surgery. Everyone wants an easy way out of things, especially if it means a better life in the long run. I don't expect that but I sure as hell want it. However, I miss the feeling of busting your ass just to get something. Working like a slave because you need to pay the devil ( Rogers) your overdue bill.
I miss making money. Simple as that. And not 10.25 an hour. I don't mean millions either. I just mean, I miss being that hard working dick who shunned the world and kept to himself, only to come out a better person. I miss having a girlfriend who had 38DD boobs and didn't mind when I punched her. In the butt. I miss having a kickass team working with me, sharing laughs and throwing knives, only to drink a pint after because we were retarded like that. But alas, I can't dwell on the past. Hence why I want to turn a new leaf and start all over again. Sure I've made enemies along my road to becoming who I want to become, but that's behind me. I've forgiven and hopefully I'll be forgiven. If not, fuck them. I want to be clear of all things before I move on. I want to become a totally new person, but keep the same ideals. There is only one me, and fuck dick shit tits to you if you think I'll change.
I need to start off somewhere. I don't care whether I get a cook job or not. I don't care whether I drive or don't. I just need a start. I think hopefully getting back into shape ( fuck...again!), will be a good start. While I do my long ass walks, I usually spot Now Hiring signs so I'll take note of that. I mean hell, I have a ton of licenses for what, Food Service, Smart Serve, Male Gigolo, and I could get my Security license. Or maybe apply as a nutrition consultant. Or tricks behind a bar. Whatever the job, I'm damn ready for it. Another thing I need to work on, is my girlfriend spotting skills. Not everyone needs a girl by their side. I'm not incompetent or anything without one, but it feels damn good to have one. Especially since it's been a damn long time since I've gotten laid. I'm not one to sleep around, and fuck your AIDS ridden ass if you think that's wrong. You can go have meaningless relationships if you want, I don't care. But don't call me a fuck if I like to share my dick with someone who actually wants it. Good way of putting it eh?
Really though, I've had chances ( who cares?) to sleep with women, I've had chances to even date them but why the hell would I date someone if we had nothing in common? Sure the saying goes opposites attract, but if her opposites are shit I hate, then why the fuck will I want her around? You like Jersey Shore and watch it religiously? FUCK YOU. You buy a book because Oprah said so? EAT SHIT. You think Martha Stewart was a master chef? SUCK MY CANCEROUS TESTICLE. I don't care if she's not entirely like me, because if she was I would never leaver her side. She just doesn't have to be a retarded fuck who thinks Abercrombie and Fitch is the second coming. Please, dream girl, read my blog and tell me to fuck off in my face. I will make out with you and proceed to have sex on your father's back. But really, call me. No ghetto bitches allowed. If your hair is faker than Dolly Parton's tits or your nails can support a grown child hanging off them, don't bother. Talking English is a plus. No Spanish gang members either. Arabs, you know what I'm expecting so if you don't have it, go fuck a kefte.
It all boils down to what I make for myself. And I'm damn sure I'll do something good this time around. I'll make sure of it. Now, first things first. Show me dem titties.
"I want to become a totally new person, but keep the same ideals."
ReplyDeleteMr Jean Paul Mallah, I had the pleasure of reading your fantastic post and I have to say, other than your frank use of the word fuck and tits, that the comment that I've quoted might be the fundemental flaw in your logic of "changing yourself"
If you want to change yourself, be a totally new person, your going to have to change your ideals. You can't be a new you with the old things you've been doing holding you back.
If I could give you some advice, if you want to change, change everything, not superficial stuff. Get deep down into the meat of you and figure out what you don't like about yourself.
That is all. I'm sure you'll take this post and shit all over it but there it is, an opinion.
I won't shit on anything but I will say there isn't really anything I don't like about myself. Maybe I didn't really clarify what I meant by change. I really just mean getting a new job, and getting back into shape. Guess what I really mean is that when people do change, they sometimes take a different persona, trying to be a little bit 'better' than the last person they were. And most of the times it doesn't work out because they usually change to what others think is proper. Well fuck that shit. I like myself. I LOVE myself. I love the fact that I'm blunt, and I don't really care for stupidity. I'm not trying to change the world, but I would like to live on it for another 60 years. As for the change everything bit, yeah I guess what that sentence falls in is that. But like I said, I don't mean to change entirely everything. Heh, guess I fucked that statement up. But then again it's good moral support for those who do.....right. Thanks for the opinion though, Mr. Anonymous.
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