So I was working my shift as usual the other day, and had a pretty stellar night. Not busy, but sold out of most product to keep the fridges fairly empty over the weekend. Locked it all up and went on my way home. Turned my iPod on, the shitty fucker, and pumped up some good ol' metal. Never a better way to end the night with a walk to the station, headbanging to "Painkiller" or "Killers". Regardless of what song, my head was banging to the beat, scaring off all those around me. I look retarded when I listen to music, almost like I lose myself and begin playing some weird ass air instrument that's a cross between a drum/guitar and flute. Yeah. So as I begin my travels down to the station, I enter the subway and head on home. Lo and behold, my dear precious all knowing sentient being placed my ex-girlfriend Cherice on the same train. Yeah. So as I slowly wrap my head to why this happened to me and why the hell am I even given half a shit. I go up to her, and as I begin to wisp a breath, I immediately regret the decision. "Hey, what's up?" The air stood still, and my nut began to retract inwards. I got a boner too, don't know why it was kind of awkward, and awesome at the same time. Random boners are a lost art, and really show the true emotion you're feeling at the time. Anyways, the cunt didn't say a damn word and soon got off the train. Moral of this story? If you get the chance to kill someone that has no particular value in this world, and won't get caught, do it. Or face the ex girlfriend syndrome.
Man did I feel like an ass. Not only did I try and resonate a lost love, I had a boner all the way to Finch station. Don't worry though ladies, I shortly after disposed of it at home with a quick visit of the internet. Yeah, quick. Sorry it doesn't take me seven hours to dispense my man gravy. I'm a rabbit, in both the Chinese new year thing and my stamina. I find pleasure in going as long as humanly possible without giving up in any way. This is a reference to not only sex, but anything for that matter. Anyways, did I ever let that get to me. I moped around for a good two days, trying to scrummage some sort of reason to go out. Friends tried, but that's all friends can really do. Unless they begin to seduce and possibly have random sex with, although a friend like that would be chained to my stair rails in the basement and fed with a slop bucket. What?
Seriously though, what the hell man. I know I'm not the most friendliest person in the world or the nicest, but I used to be. I used to be such a nice guy, looking out for everyone and putting everything before me. Couldn't go out because your younger brother was sick and you had to watch him? I would help you and try nursing the bastard to perfect health. Couldn't figure a way to look like a whore? I helped you by telling you that you already did and I would pay no more than 50 to get you in bed. Didn't understand why my ball is pressed against your leg? Check the stain. Really, what the hell happened to me? I grew up to be a bitter old man, with a gorgeous face and sub par life goals. Ah well, you can't please everyone, but at least I'm able to ultimately please myself. With my life you perverts.
I think I need to get away though. Maybe a nice week or so of me out of the city and into the wild. Living with bears. Having rough anal sex in the woods while a raccoon sniffs my ass. Those kind of things appeal to me. Well, the anal sex maybe, mosquitoes would have a field day and bites on the cock, suck. Literally. Really, a trip out east is what I need. Nature, fresh foods and time away. Away from almost everyone, especially work. Nearly 11 years of non stop work. Not one vacation off, never any time to myself. It's gotta happen. Would like it if I had a special gal to share that time with, but believe me you, dating me is like farting while you're in a small space. It might be a stinker it might be wet, and it might be silent. You never know how retarded I can be and I can get pretty retarded. Except when I actually give a damn. Then I get retarded.
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